Fighting For Your Independence

July 03, 2014

Athletes often fight battles for independence to be their true self. 

There's a developmental process in late adolescence when a person fights for independence from parents to claim their adulthood. 

This is called "autonomy."

Autonomy usually peaks in the spring of the junior year of HS.   

Battlegrounds may vary: grades, room cleanliness, or curfew.  

The tension is typically highest with the opposite sex parent.  

Often it is a parent that struggles most with letting go of the reins.

A bird needs to fly from the nest eventually.  Autonomy can be like vigorously flapping those wings in preparation for departure.  

If this battle is not fought and won in a positive manner, there can be long-term negative consequences on those relationships.

Think of the controlling mother-in-law, or the guy who never leaves home or the female that rebels, flees and never comes back. 

How you fight your battles for independence matters.